Emma

Hello, I believe there is a age of lesson in this piece. Its a tale as old as time and reminds me of storys like Brave. The characters i found hard to relate too and there for care about. It felt a bit easy and simple that all he had to do was go down the mountain and misplace a mask and bobs your uncle no toxic death. Also adding in a speaking turtle to the end was a bit confusing as the world established before had no speaking animals. So to add somthing like that further along is asking a lot from the viewer to suddenly accept. But great job over all well done.

Hally Bellah-Guther

This is so creative and a wonderful (subtle, NOT! LOL!) social commentary! I thought it was very quirky and original, my only issue was well, two fold, no sound is less appealing, some music background or sound effects, something, would have been helpful, but even more of a problem for me is how fast it went. I had to constantly press pause or go back. Even if I was a superfast reader, it is just too fast paced to enjoy the meaning and messages of both drawings and the text. Amazing potential and this would be pretty easy to improve dramatically with those suggestions.

Megan

I think that your story has a lot of good foundational work - it felt a little unfinished to me but I realize these submissions can still be works in progress. :) I enjoyed your illustrations and your use of color to help describe the individuality and additional choices that Farron discovered when he was exiled from his original community. I would like to understand a little more about why eating the potatoes was supposed to be helpful. It was a little unclear why challenging that should have been an offense that would lead to banishment. Overall, good work and keep going! :)

James

Can you update /add your script on your submission to read the full story. I am trying to read it but I am missing the the illustrations.