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What did you like or love about this submission?
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What did you find confusing or unclear?
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What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?
Andres
I like color to use in this project. and the music is great. the tale is a little sad ;(
Peter (1 like)
I love the music and the concept of taking breaks to balance out our mental health. I don't understand the eye at the end and why it was being repeated. Suggestions: make the volume of the voice and sound effects as loud or louder than the music. The music is overwhelming that I can barely hear the character speak. Show her energy level gradually drop after each moment in the beginning. So we see her getting more and more tired. It also shows a passage of time which helps in telling a story. Show the page with all the words a lot longer. Have the camera pan through the page so the audience can read it. Pausing the video to read is NOT a good idea. If this was in a theater, we cannot pause the movie. When the plane opens a portal and returns, make it more obvious that the plane is leading her to different types of breaks. Show her do work and when she is stressed out or tired, have the plane reappear and lead her to a break. Showing all the fun places to go looks like she just went on a vacation which is not the same as taking breaks. We have to constantly take breaks. We cannot go on vacation all the time.
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Amelia and Jett
Amelia has received an assignment at school that is affecting her energy level and all her extracurricular activities are making her have low energy. In search of inspiration she visits a used bookstore one day finds a notebook and takes it home. There is a note in it that gives her guidance to play and take a break from her everyday in order to be inspired again. It is so much more than just paper in that notebook. She folds herself a paper airplane and gets lost in play. But notices that the paper has magical powers. She decides to throw her airplane that she made and wahlahhh! A portal is opened and her airplane is now alive and he has a name, Jett! They travel around and have a blast. She learns that taking breaks when needed is just the thing to bring balance back to her life. Enjoy!
Thanks to my coworkers and the tech department for their support. Appreciate you all. Thanks to Story Xperential for having such amazing speakers come talk to us during the course. It was a lot of fun.
Special Thanks:
Team:
Paper Lobsters-Vanessa Cuellar, Suzanne Miazga, Andrew Fejt, Marlene Sanchez
Andrew, Marlene, suzanne, Vanessa
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