Andres (1 like)

great Tale. I love it

Adair (1 like)

The illustrations are incredible! They help draw you into the emotions of the boy - I recently lost my grandmother so this is a theme I can really relate to! I'd be interested to see how the story would come to life in color, could change with the passage of time in a cool way!

Shayleen

Hey James! This story is one I can relate to, but about my grandma. I would love to have a machine to let me see her again. Nice work! You communicate time passing really gracefully - the tree as a symbol is genius! I think something that could make your story stronger is if you create specific characteristics for the characters - they felt kind of generic to me. I’m curious if there’s something unique you could give to them (visually and personality) that might make the audience attach to them more. But overall, great work!! You should be proud!

James

Thanks for the kind words. it was hard to create a characteristic to seperate them and the boy jim grew up and ended up looking like his grandfather. In the end I had a blast doing this project.

Kennedi

Your drawing skills are amazing. I'm glad you enjoyed doing it.

Jackie

It's been great to see your project progress in this program. I wish there was a little more in the plot. Maybe the grandpa tells him something he never knew before, something that will help him. It was sad to hear that he had lost everyone. It would be nice to see him be nice to his child, just as his grandpa was nice to him. Good job completing & being a part o this program. Kind regards & wish you well in your future endeavors.

James

I thought about that yet she too would be an adult and would be harder to explain the 2 characters that have aged. I figured that people would think it was jim's wife. As I build this more I will keep thinking. Thanks again this class was fun

Antonio

The story is very touching! And I love mostly the symbols of the tree and the mirror. It is unclear to me what prevented him for seeing the solution if it was right in front of his eyes. What he has to overcome internally so that he can see what is so simple. As a suggestion, you can make more clear how he is dealing with keeping his life together at the same time as he is trying to build the machine. And maybe how in the end he let's go of trying so hard so now the simple solution is right in front of his eyes. This can be a very inspiring story! Keep it up!

James

Thanks for the feedback. I am always looking for a different perspective. I did clip some things I might put back in the future. This was all a great experience.

Armando

Loved the drawings, loved the dialogues, the only thing that felt odd to me was when the reactor falls and suddenly he finds it again, I feel the reactor missing wasn't necessary.

Loved the story, short and sweet, very compelling, I wanted to know what was going to happen the next scene. Nice work!

James

Thanks for the review. I thought about cutting it or change it to him ripping up the floor to get it. Thanks for taking the class this was fun

Kennedi (1 like)

I appreciate the details. The soldering and welding tools. The narration is funny. I like the voices you did. The wiring backwards is always the issue lol. So sweet you dedicated this story to your grandpa.

James

Sometimes it's the little things that can hang us up for a while... Don't get me wrong I too get caught off guard on something so simple. Thanks again for being in the class this was fun.

Francisco (1 like)

Hey there, James! Really nice work! The story is so relatable and moving. I really admire how you managed to showcase a timeline so long (We are seeing three generations — which is great) with the correct moments and scenes to fully understand and feel the characters journey. The scene when grandpa comes back and they reflect each other is just awesome. :)

James

Thanks for the kind words. The reflection was always in from the start but kept that little secret until week 8. The symbolism of becoming his grandfather in the end of the journey to me was powerful as we all become someone we admire. I only hope I can live upto my grandfather!

Francisco

Your story is an achievement. I also did my story based on my grandmother (but I reimagined so many things) so I totally relate to where you come from as a writer for this story. :)

Florian (1 like)

This is really well done! I can only repeat previous comments. Great music selection and art. You could have probably even reduced the amount of story voiceover as the pictures where speaking already very well for them self's.

James

Thanks. I thought I could drop the narration in spots. But one week I got feedback that they were looking for more in spots so the narration helped close the gap. Which spot were you referring too?Thanks again for the review

Florian

I think especially the beginning starting with getting married is very clear in your drawings.

Julie (1 like)

WOW! Really amazing job on every aspect, visuals, music, story, dialog

James (1 like)

Thanks for the props. It was difficult at times over the session as I go little feedback at times. I thought maybe no feedback was good, so I kept chopping away.

Julie (1 like)

I think the choices you made clarified the story points. You did a wonderful job of capturing the bond and the emotions. I know I can relate to this story on several levels and it is a reminder to treasure the living years.

James (1 like)

Thanks, it was a pleasure to have you in the class.

Christian (1 like)

Amazing Work! The illustrations were great and did a lot to help the story. I definitely felt the emotion of the moment during the phone call scene.

James

Thank you for the kind words.. This was an emotional piece and was proud to do it.