Pietro

I like Adma's clear emotional situation and a clear "narrative ghost" with the death of his father. I also love the theme of the story, it's really relatable. There was nothing confusing or unclear. To make this story stronger I would focus on building on the What-if question. The setup of the story is great and clear, but what's the adventure? What's the character's external journey that makes us want to see this film? You have two amazing worlds: cooking and comic books, how could you combine them into something unique. I'm not suggesting you necessarily turn thins into a super-hero movie, but I feel we don't have a clear external conflict and stake. If this note resonates with you, I'm sure you'll find something amazing, all the elements are there. I also want to congratulate you, because this story feels really personal somehow, and in my opinion, that's the most important element toward something great.

Jackie

I liked the idea of finding your own unique dream & making it a reality. I would've loved to see more regarding that dream, in how he made his restaurant special. A superhero restaurant sound cool. Good job in uploading on time & completing such a project. Kind regards from the Isles of the sea.

Megan

Overall, I think you touch on a very relatable topic - I feel for many of us struggle to find a career that is truly fulfilling and makes us happy so we are all Adam in wondering what we are doing with our life. I like that you show Adam putting in the work to figure out what makes him happy. A quote that I thought of when watching your submission is that "you are one decision away from living a completely different life." I think about that one often and could definitely make a personal connection with the story which I feel is essential in storytelling - so good job. The story is a little structured in terms of still having the story spine prompts so adding some extra finesse could make it a little stronger. Great job!

Jianye

I like the idea of what are you doing with your life, that story is so inspiring and can dig more deep plots. Good luck!

Chris (1 like)

The story is a little light for me. The mddle could have been a little more dramatic/exciting.

Melissa (1 like)

The restaurant part was unexpected. I thought he would be drawing or creating stories. But, this is a story with potential -- touches on a contemporary theme for many young people wondering what they should do, or what they could become. This is a rite of passage story, a transitional story-- what this story lacks is something big, conflicting for Adam. Need to expand on how the restaurant journey came into place.

Álvaro (1 like)

Hello Team Forsa, I liked this story! Well set. But ever since the beginning I thought he was going to end up drawing superheroes for DC. But Liked how in the end he Opened his own restaurant inspired by super heroes. The message is clear and the plot is very relatable, what else to say! Good work!!

Richard (1 like)

It is a very relatable story but I feel like his lowest moment could be lower. How does really hit rock bottom to give up his passion for comics and a comic book store? I feel like maybe there could be something more in the conversation with the customer. Something more that really digs at his burning passion to cook and the connection with his father. Could the customer be someone else who reminds him of his dad? Or triggers a part of him that misses his dad and he just starts cooking in a frenzy to reconnect with his father. I think you have a good start and ending but I feel like you’re soooo close on the middle. He just needs that one challenge to tie it all together. Great job!

Anna (1 like)

I relate so much on this story! I really enjoyed how it ends!

Jonah (1 like)

Beginning and End was my favorite part of the story. However the middle gets a little bit muddy. Nice job making it to the end!