Colin

Hello this is Colin from Team: Bro HamCam,
-I really like the backstory and the history of how the dark power has made its way to Moran. What I found confusing or unclear was how exactly the past haunted Moran to make him "rule over the all the lands", also how did Moran, "have the destiny of his people in his hands?" I may be missing something; it just doesn't seem like it was mentioned. I would say to make this stronger, try adding some description of what corrupt things Moran does or what conflict he had in the past to make him do these things.

Cynthia (2 likes)

I think this is a strong beginning of the story and you have a strong foundation to build from. Though I would love to know what motivates Moran in life, what factors outside of his powers motivate him to do or evil? What kind of friends/family did he have that shaped his values and beliefs.

Christian (2 likes)

Nice work! I really enjoyed the backstory and how the power was transferred down to Moran as the 6th generation. I would love to hear about why the power had to wait for 6 generations to be seen again. I think that this is a great build-up to an event or situation where Moran has to make a decision on how he is going to use his powers, but we don't get to see the situation or outcome of all of the build-up.

Klaas (1 like)

It has nice potential. A Maasai superhero sounds intriging. I would love to see more of it.

This does feel like the intro part of the story. I would like to see which side Moran chooses. The good or the bad.

Richard (2 likes)

Its a cool story. I like the idea of the powers coming to the 6th generation. I’d like to hear how it ends. If I could make a recommendation, it’d be good to see the story from more camera angles. I’m curious about the characters and what they look like. What was it like when they received the dark powers. There’s some great opportunities for cinematic moments. I hope you keep going with this. Its a compelling story.