Skye (2 likes)

OH PRAISE BE, you're the first short I've seen in this round that didn't just repurpose story spine narration for the final product. Deeply impressed with the foley (even adding ambience to certain scenes-- birds, car engines, kids playing on playground, muffled voices in another room, crickets, TV playing in background, etc.), music (SO dig that moody acoustic guitar, that had perfect timing), voicework (You even had people off-screen with the RIGHT reverb and distance in comparison to when the character is in-shot!! What attention to detail!)... it's BONKERS trying to get all of those different elements done in the time constraint, nothing but respect that you brought all of that together, considering most people here are just... dialogue/narration + visual. Also, similarly to your group, we only got through the first arc, too, and by the skin of our teeth. SO excited to hear you're planning on continuing to add-- this story is SO worth it.

Whoever's doing Liliana's voice has got the CUTEST kid inflections. Major points for understanding the funny little enunciation things that kids do, and even vowel placement. The amount of thought in the VISUAL character acting is also off-the-charts. Every movement has perfect motivation and LOOKS like the voice SOUNDS. You're also the first people I've seen to use a CAMERA MOVEMENT in their storyboards, WOAAAH. You all really thought about shot composition, the timing of said shots (so many people have too many different shots at too fast a frequency all the time), and how they all tie together in context.

One scene in specific that I think needs to be retimed is that gorgeous little bit of silence at 02:26. Whoever drew those drawings-- excellent. But whoever paced it-- well, first, there's, like, a single frame of white in-between that first board and the next. Then, you should prolong the shot resting on the backpack. The image should have a chance to speak longer-- plus, Liliana still needs time to crawl onto her bed. Then, all those great drawings from above-- they're going WAY too fast. Each of those frames should be longer-- plus, they probably shouldn't all be the exact same length. When you do that in a storyboard reel, it creates a rhythm that you're probably not trying to create. And then make sure to linger on the last frame of that before cutting to the close-up with Liliana holding Mixiote. Also, I'm not sure EXACTLY about the timing of that shooting star. Maybe it's exactly where it needs to be, maybe not. Depends on your own take on it. Is it just that it happens to be firing off while Liliana's talking? Because it happens so soon after Liliana speaks that it doesn't seem to be as much in CORRELATION to Liliana speaking as it is just a coincidental thing. But if it's supposed to be more, like, IN EFFECT of what Liliana said, I think it needs a slightly longer pause. So you're getting a chance to look out the window and think, "Why's it staying on this shot?" And then the universe is, like, "Okay, Liliana, you get what you ask for..." ... and the star goes shhhhwwooOOSH across the window and you go, "Ohhh, she made something magical happen..."

Also, stepping back slightly, when Lili says, "Sometimes, I wish that I could understand what you're saying." ... I think that means it's important that you add a few cat noises throughout this whole opening whenever she and Mixiote are together! Like, Mixiote should ESPECIALLY make a few noises right then so that what Lili wishes feels more motivated by this specific moment.

Speaking of her newfound gift, was Mixiote just, like, missing in the morning, and all throughout the middle of the day when Lili got home? I'm just surprised she didn't hear Mixiote speak FIRST. However, you definitely made the right call having him NOT be the first person she heard, and that was definitely a conscious decision you made. I just think it's important that you add a scene with her waking up in the morning and hurriedly rushing off to school (you know, like, ten or so seconds, tops), showing that Liliana doesn't see Mixiote in the morning, despite falling asleep with him in her arms.

Then, when the birds begin talking, I think you can milk that a little more in the shot composition. Like, it should probably start with a mid-shot of Liliana looking at the other kids on the playground, and then she hears those bird voices and she can't peg where the sound's actually coming from. It could have, like, a little POV shot of her eyes darting around the playground, trying to see who's talking, but no one seems to be talking. Then she looks in the tree and sees the birds. And you can make it really dramatic, with Liliana, like, ever so slowly walking towards it, confused about what she's going to see up in it, and then the POV shot tilts to focus in on them. Speaking of which-- ADORABLE designs on those birds-- there's so many great pieces of design work throughout (there's even MULTIPLE good Liliana interpretations from the different artists here), but they're my favourite. It's the leaf-shaped eyebrows and the rounded, segmented beaks. Plus, love their voices, I can only hope that's what birds would actually sound like.

And then for it to cut directly to when Liliana's sleeping-- like, don't you think the first thing that Liliana would think when she got home was to talk to Mixiote? Like, it might be nice to have a quick series of shots of her on her drive back home, and her hearing EVERY animal through her car window talking. Then it quick-cuts to her busting into the house, expecting to be greeted by Mixiote, but nothing? Or-- what-- does Mixiote know that Liliana can speak with animals already? Has Mixiote been saying "meow" in-front of her, like she does at the end? Whatever the case is. Either he's not around, and she's disappointed, and then it cuts to her going to sleep, or-- she goes right up to Mixiote and is, like, "Speak! Speak, I can understand you!!" All determined, and Mixiote looks uncomfortable, but finally just meows. And Liliana's, like, "Guess you can't talk..." And then it cuts to her sleeping. One or the other!

Finally, impressive visual ambience on Mixiote's late-night meeting in the kitchen. That one spotlight created SO many striking scene compositions. I love how the light is even what Liliana's following into the shot. Who needs color when you've got light, I ask you?? Also, that little bit of info dropped in that last scene-- "the catnip business is spreading around our territory fast"-- I'm SO into this. And I love how Mixiote, despite being this tough-as-nails boss is obviously trying to protect Liliana from this world. This has got to be one of the most unique pet-and-owner relationships I've ever seen devised. While the story details bear very little resemblance, some of the feelings I get from this are a little like A Cat in Paris, if you've ever seen that film. S'got some great noir, just like this.

Marian (1 like)

Woooow, we loved your feedback so many thank youuuu, yes you’re complete right about the part we’re Lilia returns home, we had a whole scene for that but we forgot to pot put it 😭。we realize one day after. Sooooo thank you for the timing feedback we are definitely gonna check it, a lot of things you said make so much sense to us, this is going to help us so much to developed what we had in mind. We are pleased to heard you like it! And more please to know where we can improve, your comment makes us want to put the effort on this story even more. I haven’t had the chance to check your team entry but I definitely will!
Thank you again ❤️

Antonio (1 like)

Hey, I think there are loads of ideas here! I like the direction that it can take and it gets really interesting once Lili can understand the animals. Before that it is a bit confusing what the story is really about. You may want to get there a little bit quicker. One suggestion could be to start right in the school where Lili doesn't feel accepted and then go home and setup Mom and Mixiote. Try different options to see what works well. Are the cats going to take over the world? I would love to see!

Marian

Thank you! Our microphones didn't work very well for the part of the cats sorry!, but the idea is that Mixiote is the leader of a Kittty Mafia, we are working on a new version with subtitles and new drawings for the story to understand better, we will consider cutting some scenes as you suggest!

Shayleen (1 like)

Hey there! I love the variety of shots you’ve created - they are dynamic and interesting. :) The story is relatable, too (the theme of friendship, not necessarily hearing animals. Haha).

I’m interested to know how it ends! Something that confused me was what the magic was that allowed her wish to come true. I’m curious if there is a source of the magic, and why her wish came true at this moment. I anticipate that she has probably felt a similar emotion having moved in the past, so what made the wish come true this time (if my assumption is right)?

Overall, great job!

Marian

Thanks for your comment! we liked the idea of the source of magic being a shooting star, on the new version we are going to making more obvious for the viewers. we'll love to hear what you think about the magic source now :D

Nicole (2 likes)

I really like the idea of the cats having a secret organization hopefully Liliana will still love her cat by the end of this! Hope to see where the story goes from here.

Nazish (1 like)

Really nice drawings! I also liked how you showed how hurt Liliana felt when the others didn't treat her well. I wonder what caused her wish of being able to understand animals to come true? Keep having fun with it!

Joshua (1 like)

Love the idea of understanding animal conversations simple illustration worked well for each scene. Seems that the story is in progress and that's why at this stage it's still unclear what the story will be about.

Marian

Sorry! Our microphone died in the cat part, the story is about Mixiote being a kitty mafia leader and Lily becoming more confident with herself on this adventure :D. Thank you for your comment!

Tracy (1 like)

The illustrations are great! I love how well they tell your story. It is a little unclear why Liliana is apprehensive about staying because she seemed to be settling in well before her mom told her that they would stay. Is it because she is so used to moving or does she not like this place? Nice opening! Keep developing this!

Marian

Thank you for the feedback! we would work to make it more clear. Liliana isn't used to making real friends since she moves a lot, so she spends more of her time reading at school than making friends since she thinks is not worth it because she would not see them again.

Marijke (2 likes)

Great work so far! The audio is fun already but the cats were hard to understand. I love that they have a meeting. I'm curious what happens next.