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Please provide final feedback to the creators of this submission below:​

  • What did you like or love about this submission?

  • What did you find confusing or unclear?

  • What suggestions do you have to make it stronger?

Emma

I really like this story. its fun to watch. it has alot of content without it being overly long or drawn out. The imagination behind the flying leaf and showing how kids can make anything magical is very real. Five stars I really like it.

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Carol

This is a sweet story, your images are gorgeous, and the music works so well with the story. Great job, I love the meaningful images of the free parrot.

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Dina

Hello! I really liked the concept of freedom that you propose, and the idea of a girl separated from the others by a fence.
What I find a bit confusing is: why does she suffer from this confinement and the other children do not? I think there should be a bigger reason than the fact that her parents just love her so much. It could go deeper into whether they are overprotective, or if the girl has a disease and that is why she cannot go out... I also find it a bit confusing that sometimes I do not know if the real protagonist is Lili or Naz, who is the one who really learns the lesson on letting go... The rest is great, and the illustrations are really beautiful. I love it!

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Armando (1 like)

Loved the framing and the use of light and shadows. Keep the good work!

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Chad (1 like)

I love the overall look and feel of the background music and the monotone color palette. The storyline had a greet message.

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James

I really like the monotone that was displayed. I did get a little lost and was curios on if there was a reason she was not allowed outside. Keep going... practice makes perfect.

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Tracy

I love how this story draws you in from the opening image. The illustrations are beautiful! The music enhanced the story. What's a little unclear is why Lili's parents are confining her to the house. Is she sick? Fantastic work!

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Marian (1 like)

I love how the illustration told me the whole story, I didn’t need to read the text to understand. Good good!

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Maria Teresa (1 like)

I like de sound, it is melancholy like the story. The drawings are pro, I understood all .......... very nice story board.

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Bethany (1 like)

The music that goes along with the story brings about a lot of emotion. I feel so sorry for the little girl that she does not get to go out and play with kids. I'm sure it was a lot for her to be cooped up all of the time. Something to make it stronger though is to add more talking. Something unclear is why her parents want to keep her cooped up. Great work.

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Naz & Lili

Once upon a time there was a girl named Lili who was living in a big noisy city. In this city people were hard working and the adult had long forgotten the joys of life. Lilli was living in one old house between all of the apartments. One of those windows was Lili’s windows.

Everyday she sat alone behind the window hearing the cadence of children playing under the shade of a maple tree, drowning in her thoughts as she looked at the children and dreaming of a life where she could play with children. On some days she even dreamed of flying away into a world where she could be the child she wanted to be.
As if angels hear her thoughts, One day a girl with braided hair, whose name was Naz came with a ball from the other side of the window. Naz asked her to come and play with them, not knowing that Lili wasn't allowed to leave the house.

Lili’s parents loved her so much that They worked all day long to provide her with all the necessities(they think) she needed, without even considering what she actually needed to be happy, so they didn’t let her go outside or bring anyone inside the house when they were not around.

Day after day She had to stay all alone until her parents came home and by then it was too late for her to go outside and play with other kids.
This was heartbreaking for her.
Because She thought she was forgotten and no one loves her, and she doesn't deserve to be loved.
After Naz realized, Lili couldn't leave the house so, decided to play with her even though Lili was behind her window bars.
Shortly while they were playing, the maple leafs were catching their eyes because suddenly they were shining like gold. They were amazed with such beauty. While their eyes were on the leaves, a leaf fell down on their hands and took them into mystical land!
The magical power lets them travel and experience a new beginning.

Because Each day their friendship grew stronger and Naz grew braver.
Lili decided to snuck Naz into her home to show her only friend of hers, the green parrot that was in a cage and Lili’s only friend and companion before naz came into her life.
Soon, Naz realized that the parrot is Lili’s soul animal and both started playing with him.

Because Lili’s parents figured out that she let naz in the house and she got grounded for four days, neither allowed to open the window nor to play or talk to naz.
Lili Didn’t need her parents to earn lots of money, she needed her parents to spend time with her and allow her to have friends.


However, soon the days passed and the two friends were reunited again. They started seeing each other every day and traveled together to their mystical land where they could escape from reality and play whatever they want and be whoever they want.

Unfortunately, a day came where Lili disappeared and naz could not find her anymore. Days passed and every day she came that maybe Lili would be at her window. However, naz waited in vain! Days went by and Naz became curious and worried about her absence. Until one day she walked up to her friend’s house and found the door opened, she entered the empty house and saw the parrot cage open with the parrot nowhere in sight. Approaching the backyard, the parrot was on a thin branch of a white oak tree under the beaming ray of the sun and she realized that Lili might not come back…

Ever since that day although Naz was sad for her loss, she knew her companion was set free.
The moral of the story is to love someone means to set them free and not to hold them in a cage.
You should feel joy towards your friends or people you love. Even Though it means to let go of that person.

A special Thanks to
Xperiential Team for giving us the opportunity to explore more ideas
and be more fearless about creating our own stories.
Speakers: Domee Shi, Sanjay Patel, Mark Andrews, Kristen Lester, Esteban Bravo, Scott Morse, Chiristian Roman, Hanna Roman, Alessandra Sorrentino, Chris Siemasko, Sunmee Joh, Connie He.
My friends who inspired me and helped me throghout this process,
Arezu Farahani and Arezou Malekanian.

This is where the special thanks would go!  I’m assuming they will be a little longer this week, therefore, I designed extra space for them. If there is far more description and special thanks then there is space, this entire box becomes scrollable.

Special Thanks:

Team:
Behnaz

Behnaz

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