Andres (1 like)

I love draws and concept of photography

Skye (2 likes)

OH WHAT A RELIEF, this is only the second short I've found where the final isn't just all told through narrating the story spine. And DEAR SWEET SYRUPS AND JELLIES, I'm assuming you two did your own voice acting. You are both EXCEPTIONAL actors, and the dialogue you wrote comes from a deep, abiding understanding of a rich inner life in your characters. I couldn't be more impressed with all the little nuances, asides, casual jokes, the perfectly timed stutters and voice falters-- all the DYNAMICS in volume, tone, vowel placement and all other manner of vocal affectations you've employed to create such real characters.

Without the full context of the next act (by the way, SUPER proud you're going to keep going-- we similarly posted an unfinished draft so we understand totally the levels of determination this takes), I'm unsure of exactly where this relationship is going, but the fact that you essentially chose to write a romance and to focus on expressing this relationship through dialogue... now THAT'S an intimidating first narrative project to undertake. Even more intimidating to take on in collaboration with someone, let alone someone you JUST met. Writing a realistic relationship is incredibly difficult. In a short without dialogue, there's lots of shorthand for the audience that lets people know two characters have feelings for each other, and it can effortlessly give you the SENSE there's something that's been developed there, but when dialogue gets in there, you could easily end up making something that feels trite or flat-- something an audience cannot connect with. But you created two characters that REALLY bounce off of each other seemingly effortlessly-- but-- haha, I know better to think it IS without effort.

Out of curiosity, what was the writing process like? Did each of you write one character's dialogue? I'd be interested to know-- despite it all feeling extremely naturalistic, there's also conciseness and clarity of where each of these lines is taking us, from a character perspective. Did you write a lot more dialogue than you ended up using-- like, just letting the characters speak until you found where they were supposed to get to? Just wondering, since they both feel so lived in as people, despite this runtime being so small.

I also think one of your narrative devices of their ongoing conversations playing almost like narration over times where they're apart is incredibly useful and effective. Where exactly did you come up with an idea? Is it something you gleaned from a specific movie? Or did you just come up with it naturally? It's a rather bold storytelling move, I think, and it's crazy that it works without further explanation or rationalization of it-- and Doire even interrupts his own recounting of their conversation with an, "I don't like hugs." Unusual AND it works, AND it keeps the story in this kind of perpetual motion.

So-- you drew SO many gorgeous scenes where people aren't talking. And I've noticed the moment that characters stop talking in this video, and your timing is not bound by the guidelines of your dialogue, all of this incredibly detailed pictures, oftentimes of completely different shots, get played back at a LUDICROUSLY fast speed. Pardon my audacity here, but you've gotta apologize to your beautiful, beautiful boards for not giving them a chance to shine! Each of these shots could easily be on screen for much, much longer, and MUST be. (That intro, especially, and the montage at 02:52.) Maybe you're imagining your audience is getting antsy because the image isn't changing (or because there's no music, as I'm almost certain would be in a final product), since this is a storyboard reel instead of an animation, but you've gotta think of this as a blueprint for the timing in the final product! So get into a full-imagination mode. See the finished product in your mind. Imagine exactly how long each shot should be on screen for, and then keep the static picture up for that long. And you'd be surprised at how an audience member's attention can be kept by a static image within the context of a storyboard reel! It's almost like it becomes more mesmerizing the longer the picture's up on-screen or something, bwahaha.

Unbelievable use of a lenient grayscale with slight colour added into the gray-- so many IMPECCABLY lit compositions that pop and have really clear ideas. In that opening, the use of little light bokeh blooms against the gentle gradients (what a great substitute for backgrounds with THINGS in it while still giving a strange amount of context!)-- it gives everything this feeling of really being IN motion, especially when added with your depth-of-field ideas. Out of curiosity, were you watching a lot of black-and-white romances as inspiration? The 4:3 ratio combined with all that backlighting-- it's quite a classic combo. If you happened to be watching specific movies as inspiration, please tell me which, I'd love to watch them!

That amazing scene with the shadow of Doire's mother in the corner of the room-- something about the way you shaded it fools my eyes into actual seeing the gradient warble and grow and shrink around the mother, it's so unsettling, in the absolute best way! I also love that ther outline on the figure of the mother is in a lighter (and redder) color than the fill of the body, makes it look aglow, but not in a pleasant way, hehe. Speaking of which, the mother's accusatory words that haunt Doire -- that doesn't sound like either Doire or Caralina's actor! Is there a third person who's not one of you two? Another excellent actor-- not to mention, the mixing on that cacophony, combined with that droning noise that whooshes up like a riser-- great understanding of sound as used to create emotion.

Despite only being drawn in one shot, that gramma Caralina walks the dog for is just pure Studio Ghibli charm-- what a MAGNIFICENT specimen. Studio Ghibli are filled wall-to-wall with the smallest characters that you instantly admire, and that's how I feel about dat gramma.

The very best scene in this, to me, is when Doire and Caralina are talking while she's painting him. The context of it is used so perfectly, and how Caralina discusses something deeply painful with such candidness and casualness, continuing to paint all the while like it doesn't bother her-- and then Doire trying so hard not to move from his pose while also being constantly moved to strong emotion throughout the conversation-- it's a REALLY good situation to put the characters in and a perfect acting moment, for both voice artist and board artist. Besides that, for Caralina to walk into Doire's room and to immediately literally and figuratively fill this very, very dark place with light-- genius. A very well-crafted story about breaking through someone's loneliness. Lemme tell you. Doire better know they deserve happiness by the end of the story, it is CRUCIAL. Ain't about that tragic ending here, nosiree.

Varian (1 like)

First of all thank you for all the praise! We were very passionate about this project so I'm happy to read that even if this is not the final version, showing merely glimpses of the vision, it's understandable, clear and captivating!
I had to make some notes while reading your feedback to get your questions answered, but we're over the moon! Thank you so so SO much!
And for your suggestions too! I agree and will take it in consideration for the future.

Regarding Questions:

Yes, we both did the voice acting ourselves, Cassilda as Carolina and me as Doire!
I was so keen to get to the voice acting part all the way through the project, which is why reading your kind words referring to that matter make me especially happy! Always wanted to do some voice impressions and play with tone and colour! Which brings me to the next Question. The Echoes of "mother". We had no third party for this, it's both of us together! It's definitely helpful to have both of us being singers and me being a former theatre actor.
Our dear grandma however was given a voice by my girlfriend. Which supported the overall charming look of Madame. I might chose her look unconsciously. I watched a lot of Ghibli movies in my childhood and the elder people always had their special charm, so I see where you're coming from.
Very honoured and delighted that you love our little Granny so much!


First you must know our script was much longer, than it could have ever fit into only 10 minutes.
As a normal writing process, some scenes had to leave temporarily, some ultimately for not giving proper use to the story.
From the very beginning we imagined something bigger in plot and I still personally want to give it the amount of panels, script and depth it needs to.
To me it's a very important topic I wish to tell and show the world.
While I did the storyboarding, Cassilda did the script.
I usually showed my first drafts to her and we wrote and tweaked around it in script and panels.
The script we eventually edited and decided on together by sending it back and forth giving feedback. It was important it still resonated with both of us without devaluating each others request. Especially when you get to know each other during just that project it was important to communicate and talk things through. Sometimes more than once.
So I guess as we brought our characters alive and helped them bond, we two were connecting too!
Useful experience, haha!

The script at first barely had any dialogue, but it felt more and more unfitting the further we went into the plot. For great and deep emotions you need voice rather than description of an image, I think.
Sometimes telling a story goes by showing the happening in real time.
Ultimately I think we both just kept on going with the dialogue as it felt more alive and natural.
There is still description in the script, but it's rather for our usage so we know which emotion and scene our characters are at.
Honestly? Haven't thought of it much xD I think it just came while writing and exchanging.
My personal thought process over this whole project was starting with a couple questions that just opened door to other questions. "How would it look as an actual movie?" "What would make me watch this movie?"
Watching movies and analysing them is a passion of mine, so there's no go to inspiration of one movie that I thought of, but rather bits and pieces of shot, dialogue and story telling that got stuck in my memories.
Especially in storyboarding I just let my hand and brain go off! xD So yea, rather unintentionally.

We did prepare sounds and music until the day of editing, which sadly, due to time crunch, did not make it into the "final" cut we submitted. I agree some quiet scenes got a little rushed through and imagery did suffer.
Cassilda, though, did fantastic within the given Time she had, besides her exams and school projects.
Like I said earlier we take your suggestion/ advice to heart! It makes sense and I fully agree with you.
I did write some little notes within the script of ours for usage of sounds, panels and such. I got the finished version in sight ;)

I'm so sorry I can't throw any movie suggestion your way, but I can't remember watching any BW romance movies ever honestly.
Meaning of imagery is my highest priority and I love to put in little hints and secret meanings within picture as much as wording.
I learned about panel composition, storytelling and such during my comic/ media classes back in 2012 when I was 18, before that I now and then had my own little comics and storyboards I crafted after Manga and East and West Animations.
I tend to have a certain vision in my head and try to put it on the screen xD

I'm so so so happy to hear that the shadow figure felt ominous. It was one thing I was worried about not getting out there as I imagined. That I wouldn't be able to create the eeriness. Glad it worked!


Kudos for the Conversation scene and Dialogue concept all go to Cassilda! It really helped bringing them and their relationship to life!
It is a very endearing and light hearted bittersweet scene we need in between the dramatic events.

Skye (1 like)

WHEW, so glad my feedback was received okay-- I was so embarrassed when I found out I'd initially posted all five of the comments I'd written here, I must've looked like a crazy person!! It's RARE that the two co-creators of a film are both impressive actors-- major props to both of you (even moreso now that I know you were BOTH the echoes of Doire's mother-- I'd NEVER have recognized your voices) AND to your girlfriend. You were absolutely right in your instinct to use her as that voice. When you can't hire professional voice actors, I think people too often forget that the people in their own life have amazing voices if given the proper direction.

Similarly, our own script breached over the ten minute mark, so I completely feel you. Fact of the matter is the story spine's natural tendency is to create stories that easily go past the suggested five-minute mark, since the structure relies so heavily on character arcs-- which, to believe that a character's truly gotten somewhere new... that takes time, or at least, the illusion of time. (Once again, I can't get over your use of compressed time in your storytelling that feels so natural. GREAT job editing down, both of you-- deeply inspiring to me, as someone who very obviously writes too much.)

I absolutely agree that voice makes a tremendous difference, or at the VERY, VERY least, you need a soundscape. The most effective silent movies still have a KILLER soundtrack that almost functions like dialogue. Or if not any of those things, then there's loads of sound effects and scene ambience, etc. Saying your dialogue made your story come "alive" is completely true-- your acting is strong you could've just posted the audio and I would've been completely entranced.

Can't believe Cassilda's had to do school on-top of all this. Hope both of you can maintain or regain sanity, haha. On the other hand, you and I are just about a year apart, woah! Happy to know I'm not the only one in that age bracket here-- bit of creative-person solidarity there.

It's impressive you instinctively understand romantic lighting in black-and-white from that more classic era, because no one does that kind of thing anymore in film! If you'd like a great black-and-white romantic short film from more recently to check out, I highly suggest a short called Validation by Kurt Kuenne, if you've never seen it.

Yes, the image of Doire's mother leaves a deep impression, great job visually representing a mental haunting. And Cassilda's conversation scene while Carolina's painting Doire is the least pretentious, most real type of way to talk about something that personal. Can't tell you how many romances I've watched where people get unrealistically weepy and verbose and dramatic about the hard stuff in their life, when chances are someone who's been through something like that is going to handle it in a very different way make it easier for them to talk about it. Crazy to think these characters didn't exist eight weeks ago-- fully-formed humans in eight weeks when they should still be babies, hahaha. Cheering you both on!

Skye

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Kaitlin (1 like)

Hi team Prismatics!

I love your illustrations/character design (great job!). This story was unique, captivating, and easy to follow and the dialogue was so well done. I think if you added background music to the story, it would enhance everything!

Karen (1 like)

Hello!!!! I loove the character designs and how you created the atmosphere and the tone with the grayscale. Also I enjoyed watching these characters with two different personalities and discovering their past. I would really like an animated version of this some day! :)

Álvaro (1 like)

Hello Varian!! I Personally I Think You both did an amazing job with the Drawings, I can tell those are some my favourite storyboards here. ;) Also The Plot have been quite enjoyable!! I expected something else for the ending but seeing how Deera's personality is out of her Harlequin....what really interesting. Also I want to know what happened! Cause they were both so intense on their own way...I was feeling uncertain about was going to happen. Also I wonder what things happened to Deera's to be that unsure thought. Anyway Good job to both of you!! It's been great seeing your development. Best greetings!

Varian

We're planning on finishing it eventually in a pace we both can manage properly and give the characters the time and love they need to flesh out our story. Thank you so much for having us and liking what we've been able to create. Wish you all the luck with your works too! 🧡🖤

Jackie (2 likes)

Wow, that was really captivating. I loved your dialogue, it made the characters very interesting. I also loved the voice acting. The personalities were good polar opposites, yet they shared a special connection. The drawing style is excellent, and the unique story telling was captivating. I hope I get to see your finished video some day. I wish you well in your future endeavors & hope you will keep your unique originality in all you do. Kind regards from the Isles of the Sea, jAckie

Varian (1 like)

We're planning on finishing it eventually in a pace we both can manage properly and give the characters the time and love they need to flesh out our story. Thank you so much for having us and liking what we've been able to create. Wish you all the luck with your works too! 🧡🖤

Maranda (1 like)

Your story is so amazing! I love that the artist so cheerful and funny, and I love their dynamic together. From the first few second I was hooked, and great job!

Varian

That means so much. Very glad you liked the characters. Thank you so much! 🖤🧡

Maranda (1 like)

You're welcome. :-D

Carol (2 likes)

Your drawings and composition are beautiful, good luck creating the rest of your story and help them in their journey.

Varian

thank you so so much!
I too wish you good luck with your project! 🧡🖤

Anastasia (3 likes)

Bon travail! I LOVED your story reel, and I can't wait to see the rest of the story! I'm so proud of all your efforts. The compositions and details such as the scenery and utilize of some French were a beautiful touch to make the story come to life. :)

Varian (1 like)

Merci beaucoup!
I can't wait to show you more! There's lots still to be unraveled 🧡🖤
It helped a lot having been to Paris a couple months earlier, to refresh a little French and find some nice references that back then I didn't know would come in so handy! Thank you for you support!

Anastasia

OMG, THAT'S SO COOL!!! I visited Paris a couple of years ago, and it's still one of my favorite experiences! I followed your socials so I'm looking forward to seeing more of what you both create! (I'm doubleaartss on insta btw.) Cheers to storytelling! <3

Sarah (2 likes)

I love the character designs and the story was fantastic! Poor sweethearts, I want to hug them both! I loved this so much, and I really appreciate y'all putting your hearts and souls into this piece! It really shows. Truly a work of art, thanks for sharing!

Varian

Thank you so much for all the kind words!
I can't wait to wait further more on this and see where it's eventually leading to! There's so much more to show and see from these two 🧡🖤